5 phones that should have been jokes

April Fools' Day is just around the corner, and rather than republish any of the dumb press releases brands try to send us or make up our own not-very-funny fake news, we've decided to collate five phones that probably should have just been jokes.

Vertu Signature

How does a $60,000 feature phone sound? Well, if you're dumb enough, Vertu will sell you one. Sure, it's covered in black leather and 18 carat gold, but it's also ugly as sin, comes with a paltry 16GB of storage, and doesn't even run a real operating system. Like seriously, I think the only reason this exists is to part idiots from their money.

Nokia N-Gage

Nokia's failed N-Gage was a weird mix of good ideas with bad design. Calling it a joke is a little harsh, but everything the N-Gage did right was hampered by incredibly odd design decisions. 

For one, it looked like a taco. To make matters worse, the microphone and speaker were located on the phone's edge, meaning you'd have to hold it against your cheek to actually make a call. There's only one time it's acceptable to talk into a taco, and that's when you can't find your phone in the middle of a tequila bender.

Other questionable choices like having to the remove the battery to change your game and a pretty expensive price-tag prevented the taco phone from ever taking off, let alone competing with the likes of Nintendo's Game Boy.

Keecoo K1

The Keecoo K1 is a patronising smartphone that combines average hardware with blatant sexism. It touts an awful pink hexagonal build to fit "the small hands of women" and a front-facing selfie camera that "automatically makes your skin look delicate and smooth". I mean, who doesn't want a smartphone with seven different levels of facial beautification?

HTC Mini+

The HTC Mini+ isn't actually a phone, but an accessory. Designed to mimic a feature phone, the Mini+ was a Bluetooth controller that connected to Android devices designed to address the fact smartphones were getting too big to keep in your pocket. There seems like an easier way to solve this problem: by not making phones so big they don't fit in your pocket.

BlackBerry Passport

BlackBerry's Passport wasn't a terrible device, just a really awkward one. For some reason, the struggling manufacturer decided the best way to reignite interest in the BlackBerry brand was to release a phone with a big square screen. It looked like someone just squished a regular smartphone, was uncomfortable to hold, and just plain weird to look at. The lack of helps didn't help either.

Alex Choros

Managing Editor + Group Telco Editor | X | Instagram | Threads | LinkedIn

Alex Choros is the Managing Editor of WhistleOut Australia and an award-winning journalist. He's been writing about consumer technology for over a decade and is an expert on the Australian telco sector, to the point where he knows far too many phone and internet plans by heart. In addition to leading the WhistleOut editorial team, Alex is responsible for ruining the office Sonos with his troubled taste in music.

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