iPhone 12 pre-orders kick off tomorrow for those after the standard iPhone 12 or the iPhone 12 Pro, and while pricing hasn't changed much from last year, neither phone is cheap. You're looking at least $1,349 for an iPhone 12 or a minimum of $1,699 for an iPhone 12 Pro. The iPhone 12 Pro Max - coming in November - is even pricier starting at $1,849.
If you're really want to get Apple's latest and greatest but aren't quite sure how to fund the purchase, we've got a few ideas.
1. Give up coffee for a year
Bad news for coffee fiends; the cost of your little cup of black magic adds up quickly over the course of a year. Based on Sydney prices, you're possibly paying around $4.50 per coffee. If you're buying a coffee Monday through Friday, that's $22.50 in a week. Over a year, that's $1,170. That buys you an iPhone 12 mini, or gets you about two thirds of the way to an iPhone 12 Pro. And there's probably some health benefits in it for you too.
2. Start a lemonade stand
When life gives you expensive Apples, make lemonade. Summer is just around the corner, and what better way to earn a bit of extra money than selling thirsty punters delicious lemony goodness. You can comfortably get your lemonade ingredients for about $0.50 per cup, or cheaper if you're willing to shop around.
If you're able to sell them for $2 a cup, you'd need to sell roughly 1,230 cups of lemonade to raise enough money for a 128GB iPhone 12 Pro Max If you think you could get away with a bit more and charge $4 per cup, you'd only need to sell 530 or so.
3. Drive for Uber
If you've got a relatively new car and happen to like driving, you could always sign-up with Uber. You'll need need to make sure you're insured, have held a full license for at least 12-months, go through background checks, and turn a blind eye to misogynistic corporate culture, but flexible hours!
Australian Uber drivers can make as much $30 per hour (before factoring the cost of fuel, after Uber takes its cut), so you'll need more than 60 productive hours on the road to get your new iPhone 12 Pro Max.
4. Sell your possessions
This might sound like a no brainer, but you might be surprised to find out how much your old tech can go for. iPhones tend to hold their resell value quite well for at least two to three years, for example.
When upgrading laptop at the end of 2016, I found my old 2012 MacBook was still selling for $1,000, which was pretty great for a four year old laptop. If you've got unused gadgets lying around your place, it's definitely worth checking what the going price on eBay is.
5. Participate in a clinical trial
Would you put your body on the line for a brand new iPhone 12? Trying out untested meds is a surprisingly lucrative venture, and participants can earn over $5,000 in a three week trial. The Age reports that one participant earned $4,560 for a 19 day trial for a psoriasis treatment, which translates to $10 for every hour.
This would however mean taking time off work and spending the entire duration cooped up in a clinic, so you know, it might not end up being worth it. And of course, there is the risk of adverse side-effects, but hey, a brand new iPhone 12 Pro Max is a pretty bangin' side-effect too.
Fun fact: clinical trials are how Robert Rodriguez (of Sin City fame) funded his first feature film, El Mariachi.
6. Become a pet psychic
Are you comfortable lying to distressed owners of dead pets? Well it turns out pet psychic is a profession that exists, and luckily for you, it’s a job that requires no qualifications - or morals!
We've found that pet psychics bill around $175 an hour to communicate with the "spirits of deceased animals", which means you'll only need to tell ten or so deeply troubled individuals that their pets were very good boys. Well, maybe a little more when you factor in the costs of setting up a business.
7. Sell your hair
If you - like myself - have long luscious locks and - unlike myself - are willing to part with them, you can make a surprising amount of money selling hair. You'll need "virgin hair" that hasn't been bleached or dyed, and is at least 25cm long. Pricing varies depending on length, colour, and thickness, but we've seen sellers rake in over $750 for their hair. Apparently I could get around $350 for mine (which would jump to $500 if I was blonde). At least that covers the difference between an iPhone 12 and iPhone 12 Pro.
8. Black market blood
If you're really desperate for an iPhone 12, you can always sell yourself. No, not like that. According to information compiled from FBI and US Government reports about black market organ pricing, the going rate for blood was USD$337 per pint.
The human body has 12 pints of blood, and you can lose up to five without dying. Selling four pints of blood on the black market would get you roughly $1,900 in Australian dollarydoos. That's just enough to get a 128GB iPhone 12 Pro Max!
If you're a believer of "go big or go home", you could offload a kidney for as much as USD$262,000 in the United States. That's about $367,000 at current exchange rates, or 154 512GB iPhone 12 Pro Maxes (what an awkward plural). Of course, getting to the US may be a bit problematic in these trying times, so you may need to find a local ice bath operating theatre and hope for the best.
Alex Choros
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